I was describing what life light has been like to a friend. “Texts don’t stress me out as much anymore,” I explained, “it’s almost like the burden of constant communication has been removed.”

Which is funny, because the nature of the exchange has not really changed – I still have responsibility to respond to texts. Getting a light phone isn’t a free pass to be a poor communicator.

I have powered off my iPhone 12 mini, removed the SIM card, and put it in a box in the back of my closet. In its place I use a phone that looks like a Kindle but the size of my palm. It can call, text, has a rudimentary GPS system, as well as a calendar, calculator, and a means by which I can listen to music if I download mp3 files via my computer.

I don’t meet many people in college who genuinely say they’re not looking to be in a relationship right now. Because I have found this to be true, I have believed that because I wasn’t sharing in the pining, something about me and my desires were wrong.

A bit existential - but then when am I not?

1. I don’t have to always know why I’m feeling what I’m feeling — God knows me better than I do (Psalm 139:6).

Home is familiar. It’s safe and comfortable, and it is the environment in which all parts of me have existed for the longest period of time.

This is a beautiful and a terrible thing.

Something had let me down again. I had refused to adopt the seemingly universal pessimistic outlook on this past year, and put my hope in yet another thing that never came to fruition.